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Here's a sneak peak into my book in progress "About Face".....

 

Introduction – The Why

 

For so long, I had been trapped in the mindset of “what goes on in the house stays in the house”.  My mind was entangled in so many past hurts and misconceptions that I was no longer me.  I was searching for someone to love me and tell me who I was.  I was lost.  I remember someone coined me “the black girl lost”.  There was no reason to argue as they were somewhat correct at the time; however, I refused to accept it.  I sought the Lord for wisdom and as He promised there came an entourage of wisdom and ways to apply it. 

 

I can definitely say that the road was not easy learning to apply everything that the Lord showed me.  So often, I was like Lot’s wife…looking back.  That created a problem because the more I looked back the less progress I made.  My spiritual heart was weakening.  I had clogged my arteries with high worries and low self esteem.  There were aneurysms forming due to the excessive amounts of doubt that I had.  Where could I go and what could I do?

So many people thought I was so strong.  These people were coming to me in droves asking for me to pray and give them wisdom.  Could they not tell that I needed help myself?  Did they not see the trails of tears that lined my cheeks and stained my clothes?  No.  They couldn’t see.  They overestimated the God in me.

 

This posed another problem.  Because I was so overestimated, I felt that I had to become a chameleon.  I would be what I was needed to be but never what I needed to be in order to get free.  Did anyone care?  No.  Could they see?  No.  I felt alone.

 

I was put in a place of sinking or swimming.  I chose to swim.  I would rather fight than quit.  I was not going down.  Instead, I was going to do an “About Face” and get in position to get my breakthrough.

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